Today as we were on our walk Bella decided to show me how well she could practice defiance.
We were walking through a neighborhood on our way back from the park. Recently we have stopped occasionally at a new friend’s house. This friend has a dog and a fenced in yard. Bella loves visiting! She gets to race around the backyard and play with frisbees and all new toys.
Today was not one of those days that we were stopping.
As we began walking through the neighborhood, she started pulling on her leash. So, I stopped each time she pulled, waited for her to stop, resumed walking, stopped when she pulled, etc…
This happened until we passed the house. Then she kept stopping every five feet and looking back at the house. She decided that she wanted what she wanted. This continued for half a block. The neighborhood doesn’t have a lot of traffic. So, I did what I sometimes do and dropped the leash and kept walking. This usually lasts until I’m about 15 feet away and she walks to catch up with me.
Not today.
I walked 15 feet, then 20, then 25, and each time I looked back. She wasn’t budging. In fact when I got further away then I had ever been, she looked at me and I swear, blinked slowly and sat down. It was like she was testing me to see to see what I would do. At first I met her defiance with my own. Then I started to second guess that. Then I felt an intuitive nudge to keep walking. The more I walked the smaller she got. And she continued sitting and staring at me. At that point, I knew that she was feeling comfortable enough to test some boundaries. I kept walking.
I will pause here and just say that I don’t know how parents out there do it. Because I knew, yelling wasn’t going to work. Going back and bribing her with a treat was not an option. And going back and forcing her to do what I wanted wasn’t either. So, I just kept walking and gave her care over to God. Again, hats off to moms and dads that do this daily and with one or multiple children!
And there was a part of me that wanted to yell, bribe, and force her to walk. But I handed her over to God. And there was a little bit of second guessing going on. But I kept walking.
Just then, I started to hear the jingling of her collar getting closer. I waited and she caught up to me. I picked up the leash and we kept walking. She looked back a few more times but didn’t stop. But, letting her make the choice to choose to come to me was not easy. It did feel Divinely guided though.
In hindsight, I can also view her defiance as a good thing. When I first got her she was super timid. She would hide. She still gets distracted by people or loud noises when we go out at night to go potty. And she’s still hesitant around strangers. So, experiencing her refusal to budge gives me hope that she is accessing a deeper well of calm and confidence within her that she will be able to lean into and transform her triggers.
Meeting defiance with Divinity is not easy. However, when I can shift away from yelling, bribing, and forcing a situation, hand it over and follow Divine guidance I feel a lot better.
Can I get an AMEN?
If you would like some support in meeting defiance, in yourself or from another, with Divinity, book a session with me. I’ll hold a safe space so that you can relax into your heart once again. I promise you, if you work with me, you can do it! Click here to book a session today: https://www.readingswithlorri.com/sessions
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